I met Sunny Joy McMillan years ago at my life coach training graduation weekend. If you read my post about How I Found My Calling, you might recall a character I called Rainbow Unicorn. That was Sunny!
In that moment, we connected about the very theme of this series: purpose and calling.
Since then, I have had the honor of sharing a rigorous and intimate master coach training with Sunny and 10 other dear souls. It’s been my joy to witness Sunny’s courage and clarity after unhitching from a glamorous but difficult marriage. Now, she’s written a stunning book and helps others through challenging relationship transitions.
As you can see from the thumbnail below, it was great fun for us to reconnect and talk purpose, courage, and getting unstuck. Enjoy!
Unhitched: Meet Sunny Joy McMillan
Below you’ll find an outline of the answers Sunny provided prior to the interview (not a transcript).
What kind of work did you do before you felt called to new work?
I was an attorney, followed by several years as a “Real Housewife.” 🙂
Was your prior work fulfilling? Did you excel at it?
I excelled at law…but I did not find it fulfilling. (What little fulfillment I did get from it was far outweighed by the stress and pressure that is unfortunately often inherent in the practice of law). My stint as a pampered housewife was great for Facebook but NOT fulfilling. My soul was screaming for more meaning by that point.
What is your current work?
In my current work, I call myself a recovering attorney and a practicing life coach. I’m also a radio host for the weekly show “Sunny in Seattle on” Alternative Talk 1150AM KKNW. Although my marriage was pretty dysfunctional, my divorce was graceful. I now guide other women (and a handful of men) to make heart- and soul-based relationship choices and get unstuck from unhappy marriages. This doesn’t always mean divorce. If they decide to leave, I guide them through a graceful divorce. I also wrote my first book in 2017, to be published in 2018. Entitled “Unhitched: Unlock Your Courage and Clarity to Unstick Your Bad Marriage,” it’s equal parts a guide to following your heart and spirit in making tough decisions about a marriage, and a memoir of my own journey from a high-conflict marriage to an awesome post-divorce friendship with my amazing ex-husband.
What occurred that made you change course?
The primary catalyst that led the way for me to leave my old life behind was the writing of Martha Beck. I’d been unhappy in my marriage and work (and later lack thereof) for quite some time. She articulated what had happened for me exactly: I’d created my whole life for the social self, and my essential self was withering on the vine.
What are/were you called to say or do?
My former life was incredibly luxurious and Instagram-perfect without much airbrushing. And my entire self-worth was wrapped up in it – the externals (e.g., wealth and education) were my armor. I was called to let it all go and to leave my marriage. This meant giving up the wealth and privilege that came with it. That life was glamorous but my marriage was merely tolerable. I was also called to create more authentic, meaningful connections. My husband and I had not been connected for a very long time.
What actions did you take to shift into this new work? What did you let go of?
I let go of it all: the marriage, the wealth, the career practicing law, my home state, everything. I took a 2-year sabbatical from my life to hibernate and then heal. Life coach training + the radio show were the primary activators for the work that I do now.
How do you define success? Where are you in relation to your definition?
Success for me is feeling abundant in health, wealth and love, all while staying rooted in and remembering my foundation as a magnificent spiritual being having a human experience. Although I have many wildly improbable goals I’m moving towards, I am really celebrating the milestones I’ve hit so far (e.g., the growth of my coaching practice, the publication of my book, 2+ years of the radio show). When I consider all of those, I absolutely feel abundant in health, wealth and love, and therefore successful.
What now wants to come through you and your work?
The remembrance of who we really are as empowered and free spiritual beings capable of so much more than we’ve previously been told. One of the ways I see women forgetting this is when they remain stagnant in bad or unhappy marriages. It prevents them from living the fulfilling, loving lives they came here to live and doing the work they came here to do. I want to remind them of their power and freedom to create the lives and relationships they truly want on a heart and soul level.
What legacy to you want to leave?
I want to be remembered for empowering women to live lives of peace, joy, freedom, purpose and love. And I hope to do that through many more books, workshops and talks! What advice would you give for someone who isn’t sure of her purpose? Don’t necessarily expect a download with a fully-laid-out plan. It often starts as a whisper that will take more shape as you nurture it gently. And the only way (in my experience anyway) to shape and nurture it is through action, experimentation and putting oneself out there. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable! In the words of Steven Pressfield, use your resistance and discomfort as a compass pointing true north toward the path you must take.
BONUS Gift from Sunny:
I love giving away free copies of my book, “Unhitched: Unlock Your Courage and Clarity to Unstick Your Bad Marriage” – your listeners are welcome to download it by visiting: www.unhitchedbook.com