“I hate networking! I’m not a schmoozer…”

Yup, I hear that a lot.

And if you also think networking is a dirty word, hear me out! It might be because of false beliefs about what networking is.

So let’s set the record straight. Networking is NOT:

• Asking for money or job offers
• Throwing your business card at everyone you meet
• Asking, “So what do you do?”
• Playing a numbers game (you don’t get more points for introducing yourself to twenty people)
• Suffering through small talk
• Standing alone in a crowded room, feeling isolated and self conscious

Ugh. If that’s how you see networking, no wonder you don’t want to do it!

Let’s take that ugh out of networking and view it in a completely different way.

Networking can be the opposite of the self-centered, inauthentic, and painfully boring interaction we expect (or have experienced).

Networking Can Be Reciprocal.

At a networking event (or a holiday party you’re treating like a networking event), ask yourself these questions:

• How can I serve the people I meet?
• How can I offer my own connections and advice?
• How can I convey what I’m looking for and my own highest intention?

Then put your answers into action.

Networking Can Be Real.

Networking is not a numbers game.

Making fewer, deeper connections goes a much longer way than making lots and lots of shallower connections. Plan accordingly!

Networking Can Be Enriching.

Networking is about meeting real people and enriching your own social fabric.

Think about the relationships you most prize in your life…

What if you’re about to meet your new best friend, your new favorite colleague, or your new mentor? How would you show up?

When in doubt, employ my absolute favorite networking strategy — act like the host:

• Seek out the people who are suffering and rescue them!
• Find people who look as awkward as you might feel, and go introduce yourself.
• Make a connection between them and the person standing next to them.

Even the people who look like they’re doing great could be dying inside. Show up to serve them, and you just might forget your own anxiety.

Try out these tips to make your networking a stress-free success and remember, networking can be enriching, reciprocal, and real. It doesn’t have to be the boring or painful interaction we expect or have experienced.