The overdrive of celebration

Isn’t it funny that small children, who look forward to Christmas all year long, often end up overtired, overstimulated and just plain overwhelmed by the time the day actually arrives? They might wake up at 5 in the morning and then are completely exhausted by the time Christmas dinner at Grandma’s rolls around. Or they’ve been staying up late for family parties and they’re easily upset by the changes in routine. It’s easy to overlook the spirit of Christmas amidst the activities of Christmas.

So often it seems that if some is good, more is better. More presents. More parties. 

An invitation

Today is Christmas.

Many of you will probably be opening gifts with your families, perhaps cooking a feast and hosting loved ones.

If you’ve experienced loss or if you’re going through a rough patch, you may be trying to cover over the feelings of grief because it’s Christmas and you “should” be happy.

In short, there’s a lot going on.

I invite you to take some time out of the bustle. Time out of giving to everyone else.

Time to give to yourself.

Give yourself the gift of a few minutes of quiet. Light a candle in a darkened room. And consider practicing my favorite divine love meditation.

First let me set the scene:

A few years ago, I was struggling with chronic illness. The culmination of a violent relationship and long illness left me feeling sick and lonely and unlovable.

Underneath the physical and emotional pain, I longed for love. I had a sneaking belief that if someone could just love me, could see through the illness and the grief, if I had a safe, soft place to rest my heart, that I would naturally open to healing and become the person I had been before. I was yearning for validation, and in my little fairy tale it came from someone else, a lover, a prince to kiss me and heal me, to wake me from this difficult era, and prove to me that I was worthy of love.

But my prince didn’t come.

Eventually, it occurred to me that my belief – that I’d be lovable once someone loved me – might be backwards and upside down.

What if love, like Christmas, was a state of mind? What if it were about creating peace, warmth, an atmosphere of goodwill?

And what if a romantic partner and a sense of safety, softness, and healing, were results of this state of mind rather than the source?

I dreamed up the following practice in order to experience the state of love. It’s so simple, yet it changed everything for me. I began to feel safe, to allow myself some ease, to trust, and even to heal. It was the best gift I’ve ever given myself and one I’d love to share with you, today, in the spirit of Christmas.

Divine Love

Today, in your few minutes of quiet, I invite you to try this divine love meditation:

Sit alone in a quiet place with a timer set for 5 minutes or 10 minutes. No amount of time is too short. If your house is noisy, put on noise-canceling headphones or play some soothing music.

Start the timer and take three deep, slow breaths.

Imagine a column of white light. The white light represents divine, unconditional love.

Imagine that column of light shining down on you like a loving spotlight. Allow yourself to bathe in the presence of the Divine that loves you unconditionally.

Know that you are loved. Allow yourself to connect to this love and to absorb it. Stay with it until the timer goes off. It’s that simple. 

I hope that this simple visualization offers a sliver of the Spirit of Christmas, a taste of the deepest, most accepting, unconditional love. And I hope you’ll consider stretching that sliver of solace into tomorrow, next week, and next year.

Merry Christmas, with so, so much love.