When I was about 21, my then boyfriend and his friends and I went out on Whitefish lake in northwestern Montana many a summer’s eve. Tommy, a friend, had access to his dad’s boat, complete with water-skis. One by one, my guy and his friends dropped into the cool, glassy water, then carved beautiful arcs through the surface.
I longed to join in.
I’d never waterskied before. Unlike the others, I hadn’t grown up downhill snow skiing or racing. More academic than athletic, I didn’t fit in with the group. They were strong and lithe, some of them world class athletes. I was introverted and curvy, but sporty enough. They might have teased me or rolled their eyes at my newness, but maybe not. We’ll never know.
I never, not once, slipped off the boat into the welcoming water.
Oh, I wanted to. Every evening I’d tell myself, “Next time.” When I’m not the only beginner or when the matching bikini girls aren’t there or when I’ve lost an inch off my midriff. There was always a condition that I imagined would be met by the next time we went out in the boat.
As much as I loved snowboarding, rafting, and other exciting outdoor sports and yearned to waterski, decades passed before I finally tried it. Of course, I loved it! So exhilarating!
Had I lost the midriff inches? Or found the perfect swimsuit to hide them? Nope. Granted, the people in the boat were different, but mostly what had changed were my conditions.
I’d wanted conditions to be just right in order to live more fully, but my unwillingness to be the beginner, look stupid, or wipe out in front of others kept me from living as fully as I craved. Once I decided to live the experience rather than hold out for the condition, the conditions felt arbitrary and unimportant. Now I’ll waterski every opportunity that comes my way.
I had had it backwards.
Staying in the boat left me feeling like I’d missed the boat entirely. Having finally chosen the imperfect experience over getting it just right, I began to identify and drop conditions left and right. Dropping conditions opened up so many opportunities and experiences. It started with water skiing, led to love, two huge career pivots, and my calling.
Sometimes your purpose or calling are buried under a big ol’ pile of somedays, when X happens, and other seemingly crucial (but likely arbitrary) conditions. Is it possible that your conditions are keeping you from the life you crave and from your purpose?
What are you waiting for?
And what’s waiting for you?
Tell me everything.
Tuning in to the our purpose and calling can be subtle, nuanced. I’d love to invite you to schedule a free 20-minute Discovery Coaching Call with me! We can explore your calling and whether we’re a good fit to work together to tap into your internal guidance to create your meaningful, authentic best life.