There’s an art and a science to knowing when to leave, whether your exit relates to employment, a relationship, or the 70’s-themed party your neighbors hosted where you finally got to wear your purple velvet bell bottoms and silver sequined tank top.
Since my social exit strategy relies heavily on the Irish goodbye, let’s focus on my specialty: designing a career you love. In that context, what are telltale signs that it’s time to leave a position?
The quick answer about when to leave:
You get to choose.
I recommend you know your reasons and like them.
You don’t even need to be able to justify them to anyone but yourself.
So, if you’re looking for permission? Granted. You can leave whenever you decide to.
But for those of you who need help choosing or who want clarity on whether you’re overstaying your opportunity or indulging in escapist fantasy, read on.
Or watch the following video, which covers these notes … and more!
If it’s unsafe, it’s time to go.
Every job has some degree of stress. But if your work – or even the thought of work – is wearing you down, causing physical symptoms like lack of sleep, or you’re burnt out, you might be experiencing a toxic work environment.
Here are some signs:
- Employee sickness
- Narcissistic leadership
- Everyone has lost enthusiasm
- Negative communication
- Overwork
- Bullying
Those might be signs of a toxic/hostile environment, which you’ll want to remedy, fast.
If you feel unsafe, less and less like yourself, and losing momentum, you might need to leave yesterday. Consider a bridge job that will keep you active and afloat while you find something perfect for your career vision.
You may need some help leaving and recovering. Consider hiring a coach to support your mindset and action steps, and even consulting with a lawyer.
There are lots of great coaches out there. And I’d love to help. I’ve carved room for 10 Covid Career Strategy Sessions at a huge discount, right now.
The bottom line: if you’re unsafe due to conditions like bullying, mistreatment, or abusive conduct from bosses or peers, it’s time to plan your exit. Get thee to safety!
But for those of you for whom safety is not the concern, please read on.
It’s not necessarily toxic, but you’re frustrated. Is it time to leave?
Could be. Especially if you’re no longer gaining the skills, relationships, and experience that will help you reach your long-term career goals.
But it’s possible there are things you could do to improve your current situation. Your current employers and your future-self – you know, the you of your future – might just thank you.
As a coach, my goal would be to determine if your frustrations are the kind that can be overcome through new skills, like managing up, or applying brain science and other tools to manage yourself better.
Could your thinking, behaviors, or boundary violations be a source of your frustration? Think self-imposed overwork, too much multi-tasking, not requesting or proposing projects (and promotions) that could not only improve your current workplace but also your career trajectory.
If so, the grass might appear greener elsewhere, but it might turn just as brown as your current workplace before long.
Consider staying so you can address and clear those patterns. so you don’t simply carry them with you to the next position.
What’s your career vision?
Let’s look at the big picture.
Where do you want to be in the future?
What work do you imagine in, say, 5 or 10 years, that you’re working toward?
If you were working your way toward what I call a work life love affair, what would that look like?
How would you think about your work and life?
What do you feel?
How do you work?
What work do you do?
(I go through this exercise in more depth in the video above.)
That’s your career target.
What skills, experience, and relationships will you need to develop to get there?
Who will you need to be?
What internal development will support your future self?
Which will get you closer to your vision, staying or going?
Can your current position or employer move you closer to that vision?
Or have you developed yourself, your skills, and your network to the stretching point, here? If so, there’s your answer. It’s time to leave!
The next question is: what positions, employers, or industries can provide those opportunities to help you grow into the career of your dreams?
Have you actually outgrown your position or is this just fantasy?
Remember, you get to choose when to leave.
But perhaps you’re wondering whether you’ve actually outgrown your current position or if you’re falling into a fantasy that it’ll be so much better at the next place. How can you tell the difference?
That’s an excellent question with a straightforward answer:
Is the stress you’re currently experiencing:
- the kind that stifles your growth, or,
- the kind that hones your skills and prepares you to live your potential?
If the first, that’s a signal that it’s time to leave. You’ve probably outgrown your current position’s opportunities.
If, on the other hand, you’re imagining your next job will be stress free, so much easier, and just all around better, from day 1, you might be indulging in some “escapist fantasy,” as one of my clients called it.
No job is all unicorns and rainbows. But if your current position helps prepare you for the career and life you envision, a la number 2, above, learning to navigate the discomfort might be worth it.
A good career or executive coach can help make this process much less painful and more fruitful.
3 conditions when it’s time to leave.
First leave-worthy factor: You want to go. You know your reasons for leaving and you like them.
Second take-this-job-and-shove-it situation: It’s not safe. If staying degrades your well-being, you’ve got to go.
Third go-scenario: You’re clear on your career vision. Your current position can no longer provide the skills, opportunities, relationships, and experience that will help you create the career of your dreams. You’ve identified positions that can.
You get to decide whether it’s time to spread your wings and fly to your next employer or it makes more sense to stay and develop from within your current position.
Either way, I hope you’ll take time to nurture your dream career vision and seize opportunities to grow into a work life love affair of your very own. Sequins optional.
Want more info on toxic workplaces? Check out The hostile work environment checklist: How toxic is yours? on monster.com.
If you’d like support in any of the following, I’d love to help!
- Making your decision
- Discerning the toxicity vs opportunity at your current work
- Imagine a future where you can be in love with your work and your life
- Creating a strategy to get there
- Exiting your current position and getting a job you love
- Crafting powerful personal branding tools like your cover letter, resume, or LinkedIn profile to get the next job (or promotion) you love
I’ve got room for 10 Covid Career Strategy Sessions at a huge discount, right now. I’d love to hear from you!
Questions? Ask ‘em at jennifershryock.com/questions.